Ridiculous Fake Paper Titles: The Fitness Collection

I love academia, but it is not without certain charms that tend to provoke eye-rolling or guffaws. One of these is overwrought paper and article titles. I recently asked some of my friends in academia to “write a ridiculous, over-the-top article/paper title combining fitness/exercise and your discipline.” Here are their responses. (It's hard to choose, but Richard's might be my favorite.)

Getting Medieval on Your Ass: The Socio-Religious Implications of “10-Minute Glutes” in Light of 12th Century Reforms
Amy Nelson, religion

Flexing Our Muscles: Maximizing Courtroom Presence Through Optimal Physique
Amy Urberg, law

(Perhaps taking a cue from buff Lady Justice?)

Source: worldpulse.com

Pumping Iron for Energy: Characterization of the Biosynthetic Mechanism of Nature’s Prolific Dihydrogen Catalyst, the [FeFe]-Hydrogenase H-Cluster
Ben D., chemistry

The Stereotypical Vision of Our Fitnessed Bodies as a Threat Over the Sovereign Muscle of Our Minds

Caroline Laurent, American Indian studies

Complimentary Distribution between Fat Mass and Muscle Mass
Dan T., linguistics

Ethos, Pathos, and Logos in the Age of the Body, or Mass Building for Context: A Comparative Ethnographic Study in Muscle Group Concentration and Its Communicative Appeal
Eric King, English

Empty sets: Nihilist techniques for the bench
Jez, philosophical theatre

Engaging Muscle Strength Conditioning in an Academic Library: How Book Carts Improve Manual Dexterity & Macular Flexibility
KVTB, library science

 

Is this the newest, hottest workout?

Source: stanford.edu

PhilosoFITness, PhilosoPHATness: Shape and Pimp Both Body and Mind
Richard H., philosophy

Adding an Extra Set: Extending Public Awareness about Musical Spaces

Seth Langreck, English

  

Do you have the faux bluster and self-deprecation to try this? Leave a comment!